Most Annoying In-Stadium Events

After Brad Radke gave up his first homerun yesterday, to Chris Burke, Twins fans everywhere were forced to endure the horror of the "Killer B" sound effect that plays whenever Burke, Berkman, or Biggio hit a homerun in Houston. Unfortunately, we had to suffer through it again a couple of innings later when Berkman hit his dinger.

This got me to thinking; what in-stadium effects or events are the most annoying? It didn't take me long to come up with my list of the Five Most Annoying In-Stadium Events. One thing you should know...I didn't limit myself to things currently being done, as you will see with the number one most annoying item on my list. Without further ado, here they are, in order:

1.) Magglio Ordonez entrace - Chicago White Sox version (EXTINCT)

Back in the day, when Magglio was with the pale hose, the stadium people would play a bizarre chant every time he came to the plate. It would go something like "oh-eee-oh, MAAAAGGG-LIO." You can't get the full effect reading it as you could hearing it. It was dorky, it was annoying, and it was really just plain stupid. Consider that in a full season of baseball at U.S Cellular field, fans would have had to hear this chant somewhere in the neighborhood of 325 times, and you will begin to understand the horrific implications. This, to me, tops the charts.

2.) "Killer B" Homerun theme - Houston Astros

I used to think it was kind of cool that the Astros seemed to have an inexhaustable supply of players whose last name started with "B." That was until somebody decided it would be fun to start playing that annoying racket whenever one of them hit a homerun. Now, I almost wish that the letter "B" did not exist in the English language. The droning sound is made worse by the fact that, as a fan of another team, you are hearing the very sound of failure. But, seriously, does this loud buzzing benefit anybody? This is so bad that I nearly chose to place it first on the list, but at least this happens fewer times in the season than the Magglio chant did.

3.) Thundersticks - Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

While these are annoying anywhere, they were particularly so when the Angels won the World Series in 2003. The constant clomping actually detracted from my enjoyment of the game, and I WAS WATCHING ON TV! I can't imagine actually being there. If you want to have a loud stadium, do it the old fashioned way like the Twins and build a dome that amplifies sound.

4.) Tomohawk Chop - Atlanta Braves

This little beauty manages to be both annoying AND offensive. I remember watching the 1991 World Series and realizing that, at some point, I just wanted the Twins to win so that the Chop would stop. Of course, the Twins could do nothing against the tide of all those madly-chopping fans, and lost every game they played in Atlanta. At least the deafening noise of the madly-homer-hanky-waving Twins fans flustered the Braves as much as the Chop flustered the Twins. Thankfully, this season it appears that there will be no Chop to contend with during playoff games, since the Braves ungodly streak of playoff appearances seems to be coming to an end. Incidentally, it's been a few years since a really good Chop was seen; Braves fans got spoiled and stopped feeling the need to do this in the first round of the playoffs.

5.) God Bless America - New York Yankees

Ok, I get that 9/11 was catastrophic in New York. I think God Bless America is a sweet little song. But, seriously, do we need to draw out the seventh inning stretch during every game of any significance to have an Irish Tenor sing it? To my knowledge, the Yankees are still doing this regularly during the regular season, although I'm pretty sure they save the whole dog-and-pony show for special events and playoff games. Please, George...STOP THE INSANITY.

Honorable Mentions
- The Rally Monkey
- Wrigley Field 7th Inning Stretch
- Sausage/Pierogie Races
- Shooting T-shirts into the Stands

That's my list. I'd be very interested to hear what other people think about this topic. And remember, this is all in good fun. I'd rather go to 1,000 White Sox games from the Magglio Era than be stuck watching the Stanley Cup finals.